Goal Setting - Dealing With Family and Friends

Are The Special People in Your Life Holding You Back from Success?

Could the people around you be holding you back from achieving success, or starting altogether? Perhaps you’re often told you’re too ambitious, too optimistic or told to be more “realistic”?


If that sounds like you, keep reading.


We’re living in an exciting era. This generation has more self-made millionaires than any other generation in history thanks to the information age. Because of this, we’re starting to see a lot more people taking more control of their lives by being more intentional about their careers, their relationships, their health and their creative endeavours.


The problem is that a most of us are simply too afraid to take action.  More importantly, we allow ourselves to be talked out of following our dreams.


We’re so concerned by what others think about us that we hold ourselves back in terms of what we can create and achieve in our lives. Could it be because we’re looking from validation or permission from others? Often we feel either embarrassed or afraid to create something for fear of ridicule or judgement, but when it comes to goal setting, you need to be around the right people so you don’t talk yourself out of your big dream.


First thing’s first; avoid pessimistic people like the plague. They’re the ones who’ll tell you to “be realistic”. Why? probably because they’ve either given up on themselves, or they’re too afraid to pursue their own dreams. On a subconscious level, pessimistic people expect to fail, so they generally don’t try to do anything extraordinary. These are the people who play everything safe and live a very average life. Do you know anyone who fits this description?


If you’re planning to do something amazing and you’re expecting everyone else to be truly happy for you, you could be setting yourself up for disappointment.

Pessimists will always discourage others from trying new things because it makes them question themselves, especially when they see the potential for others to succeed.
Because you’ve decided to do something amazing, you’re like a giant mirror to them; showing them  the ugly truth about how small they are playing, and that they could be doing something better, more exciting or creative. Emotions can run high and in reaction to this, you may get unsupportive comments, or negativity from the people close to you. Unfortunately It’s just the way it is. Try not to take it too personal. It’s not about you, it’s more about them.


Why do we take the opinions of others so seriously? Why is it that we’re more likely to bet on a lottery ticket than bet on ourselves?


Most of us have been conditioned to operate from a “pack mindset”. We love validation from others and feel that it’s much “safer” and “comfortable” to follow the crowd than to venture out on our own on a road less travelled. When some people see their peers “leaving the pack” – (leaving the rat-race or relocating to a nicer part of the world for example) they feel threatened. This isn’t necessarily because they want their peers to fail, but because it makes them question themselves and the direction of their own lives. Often they may be wondering  if they’re really living the life they want for themselves. 


They say you’re the average of the 5 people you spend most of your time with. So if your current circle doesn’t consist of like minded people who understand what it means to strive for success in your chosen area, you might just be better off keeping your plans to yourself or connecting with like-minded people and sharing your vision and aspirations with them instead. This is a must if you want to protect your dream.


There are plenty of opportunities to do this at meetups, networking events, online forums  and mastermind groups.


What I’ve found from reading books about successful people is that achievement really boils down to having five key things:


  • a clear vision
  • the courage to execute and take calculated risks
  • a burning desire and ambition to continue until successful
  • a support network of like minded people
  • a mentor – (someone who has been successful taking the path you plan to take)

I say plan your work, then work your plan with as much support as possible from a mentor or a support group. And of course always protect your dream.

Over to you:

Have you encountered negativity when sharing your vision with people in your circle? What did you do to overcome that. Let me know and comment below.

Photo by Victor Bezrukov

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